I’m typing this the day after my 20th birthday (June 1st) and thought what better way to start of my 20th year of life than sharing with you guys some things I’ve learned along the way.
I don’t think its sunk in that I can no longer claim I’m a teenager, it’s a weird and definitely bittersweet feeling.
I feel like I’m growing up faster than the rate in which I’m doing things that I’m proud of. I hope this birthday is a wake up call and I make more moves to try and start new things.
Anyway back to the point.
Being in the world for the 20 years that I have has allowed me to pick up some tips that I’d love to share with you guys.
Note: follow these tips at your own risk please, I beg. I’m not trying to get hit with a lawsuit because Miranda followed tip number 3.
1. It’s ok not to be ok.
I’m starting this post off pretty serious, my bad xx
Seriously though, it took me a really long while to allow myself to be upset about things. I still kind of struggle with this, always thinking that my reason for being upset is unnecessary but that’s not the case. No matter the reason, your feelings are always valid.
2. Don’t think, just do.
I’m known for overthinking big decisions, so much to the point that I tend to not make them just because I always think worst case scenario. Solo travelling was one of those things I spent a whole lot of time overthinking but did anyway, and I loved it. This made me start thinking about other opportunities I probably missed because I was thinking too hard, so I’ve come to a conclusion. In things that don’t require serious deliberation (e.g it’s not a life or death type decision and it could do more good than bad), just go for it.
3. Don’t settle.
I scream this always with my chest and my friends think I say it to be funny.
Yeah, I don’t.
When I say this, I mean it in all senses of the word. In terms of relationships, work, school, whatever it may be. If you know there is something else that you want, and what you have now isn’t cutting it. Go for that something else, despite the risks. Playing it safe often leads to unhappiness.
4. Different does not always mean bad.
I don’t particularly like being the odd one out. Whether that means in my views or in appearance, but I’m learning that different can be good. It offers a new outlook on things
5.Heartbreak is inevitable.
I’ve always been that person that avoids relationships, love, men, all of it. Mainly because I don’t believe in putting myself in a position to be vulnerable or get hurt. The issue with this is that I’m probably blocking my blessings. I’m currently learning that even if I avoid all of that stuff, you’re always in a position to experience hurt from life, so why prevent the possibility of a really good thing starting.
6.Treat yourself (with caution)
This is a toxic mentality that I’ve most definitely spread on to my friends (I am actually so sorry ya’ll) but I stand by it 100%. Money comes and goes, so if there’s something you really want, buy it lol. This is not to say go wild and purchase whatever but if you happen to be in a trash mood and feel like you want to buy yourself a little pick me up, I’m not against it.
7.Comparison will prevent appreciation.
We all do it I’m sure. This idea of thinking you’re not doing as well as your other friends or people within your age bracket. I know I do this a lot and it really prevents you from seeing all the great things you have accomplished. The constant need to do better is great, don’t get me wrong, but when you fail to see how amazing the person you have developed into is?
We have a problem.
Right now, I’m trying to be proud of my own accomplishments, even if they come way later than my peers.
8.But will you die?
This links to the overthinking issue. Like I said, I’m terrible when it comes to that. A way I learnt to combat this is to think of all the things I was scared to do. l I did them and still have my health and life, so it must not have been as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Applying this logic to things you want to do does help you get some confidence to actually do it. I say some because I’m still yet to shoot my shot with this guy lol. All in due time xx
9.Invest in yourself.
Your health is crazy important. Mental health, body health, all types of health. I’ve learnt that self care is just as important as your everyday cleansing routine and that investing in yourself should always be a priority.
10. Take breaks.
It’s perfectly ok to take time away from the world. Whether that be from social media, your social circle or even just your phone. All of that is ok because we all need some time away when things get too much. I usually struggle with either not taking any breaks at all or taking breaks and completely excluding myself from everyone for an unhealthy period of time. I’m learning to find a middle ground which brings me to..
11. Balance is key.
We know this, in all areas of life. Work, education, social life. I don’t think anyone has a foolproof balance sorted out yet but I think I’m pretty close. Considering I like my own company a bit too much, I guess it is easier to balance out but again I am working on ensuring I don’t just fall off and my friends don’t hear from me for a couple of weeks (which I’m known to do)
12. A mistake is a lesson.
I have this thing where I let mistakes get to me, so like if I’ve messed up a question on an exam I start freaking out. However, I’m starting to look at situations like that as a learning curve. For example, I did X once, I won’t do X again. Mistakes don’t always have to be something to feel crap about for ages, it can be a perfect learning opportunity.
13. People come and go.
As of now, I have a great social circle surrounding me but it took me a while to get there of course. I’ve learnt over the years that if someone’s spirit doesn’t sit right with you. don’t be afraid to cut some strings. Having a foolproof friendship circle takes a whole lot of work and snipping, but it’s ultimately for the best.
14. Crying is ok.
I hate crying in general but tend to do it alot. I also hate being the centre of attention which makes the crying thing all the more annoying. I’m learning sometimes a couple of tears are necessary. Bottling up emotions is just prolonging the inevitable so whether you feel the need to cry, in public or at home. Feel free, you’ll probably feel way better.
15. Be straight up with your feelings – a work in progress
This one is definitely me cheating because I’m yet to even start working on this one, but I’d like to get there. To get to a point where I can be pretty vocal about whatever, whether it be going for something (or someone xx) I want or just being firm in my decisions. I’ll get there and if any of you are struggling with this, I hope you get there too.
16. Appreciate life.
I’m learning to be thankful for everything in my life, especially when it feels like the world is against me. For those of you that are religious, I like to think that God wouldn’t put me in a situation I can’t handle so I don’t have to stress and freak out (even though I do anyway), I can still happily look around and be proud that I’ve made it this far and will continue to do so.
So this is word to my tattoo. I’ve definitely figured out how best to deal when things get a bit too overwhelming. I like to take some time away and focus on my breathing. I think this technique works for everyone and I’m glad I’ve found a go to method for when I start to freak out.
Being critical of yourself (to a certain extent) is healthy I think. It allows you to push yourself towards goals you saw as otherwise unreachable and that’s a good thing. I’m trying to be more critical of myself because I know there’s more I can do. It’s just a matter of confidence and drive.
19. Change is good.
I’ve been anti change for a pretty long while, I’m starting to see that it’s very necessary for growth and so I kinda need to get with the programme. If something is changing, it’s probably for the best and most definitely the start of something new (yeah, I know what I just did there).
20. Enjoy your damn self.
Listen ya’ll, life is short. Way too short to not be living your bestest, always. So that’s the final lesson I’d like to share. Life speeds by at a ridiculous pace and there is still so much more to do. With that in mind, I’m learning that I should be making the most of it, as should you all. I can’t just go through life surviving, I need to actually live.
I wish that for you all as well.
There we go. All 20 things I’ve learned and some stuff I’m still working on.
What about you guys?
Have you got some stuff you’ve learned over the years or things you’re working on? Let me know!
with all my love,