hey, twenty-three | a birthday post


Lifestyle / Sunday, June 6th, 2021

Hello hi. Welcome back guys.

So, I turned twenty-three this week and in usual Quite Frankly fashion I have to reflect on twenty-two. Things I learned, things I need to do more of and all sorts.

First and foremost, time can slow down for me right now. I’ve already spoken on how I feel like my twenties are running (here) and this still stands. I don’t know how I blinked and turned twenty-three but regardless, I’m grateful. Before twenty-one, I hated birthdays – I say this every year. However, I look forward to them now; I always have a great time shared with loved ones and I’m reminded of my part in people’s lives.

Now, a lot changed from twenty-two to twenty-three including the stage of life I was in. At twenty-two, I was still studying and figuring out my place in the world. At twenty-three, I have a far clearer image of how I’d like the rest of my life to go. I know the career I want to pursue and where I’d like to be in 10 years. Twenty-two taught me a lot; lessons I plan to carry with me into the years to come while learning new ones. Naturally, I’m always willing to share.

1. Life is for living (don’t check your bank account)

The pandemic hit a lot of people in different ways. For me, it made me notice the fragility of life and how soon things can change. With that in mind, I decided to really do life because prior to all this, life was doing me. I was going through the motions with days, weeks and months passing me by. I was doing what I thought life was – work, sleep, eat and then add some nights out for the vibes. My work-life balance wasn’t balancing, at all. Time is valuable, and I don’t plan to waste any of it anymore. There are so many things I want to do, and a lot of it I hadn’t done because I was waiting for the weekend or the right time. I realise now that the “right time” is a myth, it doesn’t exist – so I plan to live freely without the constraints of time. That can add up of course, but let’s just say money comes and goes.

2. Self-care isn’t all glam

With age, I’m learning that self-care isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Yes, we love skincare treatments and the rest of it but true self-care? That’s difficult. It involves looking within and picking apart the pieces of you that need healing, the pieces of you that aren’t so great and may need working on. It can also mean looking around you and removing yourself from situations or people that no longer serve you, and that is hard. This extends to all things – romantic relationships, friendships and terrible jobs. Self-care doesn’t look the same for everyone and so seeing only the good side of self-care is doing everyone a disservice. I chose therapy this year to help me along this journey to becoming a better, more stable me and I’m so glad that I did.

3. Find your tribe

Tribe. A word I’ve been using a lot lately.

To me, your tribe is a group of people that you want to journey through life with. The people that make life that much more exciting as opposed to simply enduring it. The people who you feel are permanent, and will stay throughout the challenges life throws your way. Those you can have deep conversations with and rely on but also shake your ass on a yacht in Dubai with. That is your tribe, your homebase and once you find them – life suddenly becomes easier.

4. Comparison will really kill you

I’m working on this one as it is easier said than done. However, it is something I have noticed the importance of within the last year. Social media is the main culprit in making people feel less than – whether it be in terms of looks, achievements or the current stage you’re at in life. It’s important to remember that no one’s story is the same. A good example of comparison setting us back is this idea of age tied goals. We’ve become accustomed to wanting to achieve a certain thing by a certain age by seeing others do the same. That can ruin the journey to achieving that – especially when it doesn’t go to plan. Enjoy the journey and be proud of reaching the destination regardless of when you get there.

5. Take risks

Finally, I’m adopting a very much “what’s the worst that can happen” mantra. Under duress if I’m being honest, but it’s definitely something I’m glad to be working on this year. I’m putting myself out there in all aspects including work, how I exercise self-care and my social life. All of that requires the “shy” me to pack it up because if you don’t ask? You don’t get.

For twenty-three, I’d like to build on the things I learned from twenty-two and see how it goes. I want to continue to explore the world, make memories and ultimately – just vibe. I started Quite Frankly at twenty, and twenty-three year old me is still learning – I’m not mad at it.

To more lessons.

with all my love,

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