Hello, hi. Welcome back guys.
Boris? My twenties are leaving me.
That’s it. That’s the post.
A series of events in the past week have made me realise that I entered the first lockdown at age 21 and I’m turning 23 this year – yikes. When my age mates (cc: Lori Harvey) are enjoying life and serial dating the likes of Michael B. Jordan and Trey Songz. I, as well as the large majority of the world, have been locked up. I’ve spoken about the various impacts of the pandemic on many things; life plans, mental health and also just me. I spoke about how it’s ok to scream about things that seem otherwise trivial in the grand scheme of things, because they are of value to you. Being aware of the current catastrophe doesn’t mean you stop caring about your own world, and things that have been disrupted. With all that in mind – I have yet to touch on the bigger picture.
The age that this is hitting us at.
A lot of us are twenty-somethings with the ultimate plan to just bloody live. For me, the plan was simple; I was going to work and travel. Experiencing life in between while simultaneously figuring out what I want to gain from it. The book,”The Defining Decade” by Meg Jay popped up on my radar recently, and I’m hoping to read it next month. In it, Meg talks about how our twenties are our formative years. How these are the years where we navigate new relationships, the working world and the like to form our adult selves; but ya’ll? I’m missing it all!
The time to vibe, dress up, sip a little cocktail and lock eyes with a sweet one across the room. Speaking of – Boris, how will I now marry? In my birthday post, I spoke about the pressures to marry already kicking me sideways. The current circumstances haven’t shifted that – I’m still having those conversations. I would like to know where people think I’m going to find a husband in a panorama? I don’t even know what I’m looking for.
I talk about the UK dating climate a lot, so unless you’re new here you already know that it’s truly rough. It is not something you have the luxury of doing in the comfort of your home via social media – that’s where you go wrong and suddenly have a whole bunch of #DatesFromHell stories. To date successfully in this UK, you have to be in the trenches. Meeting people in person and vetting them to decide whether or not you guys are compatible. The online/dating app thing? Not for me (but I have written about it – here xo).
Now, if I eliminate that option, how do I get my Love Jones romance and meet my Darius at a jazz club in Chicago? How do I figure out if I even want a Darius? Maybe, I need to be like Nina and find myself first. The point I’m trying to make here (and there is one, I promise) is that I need to actively do life in order to figure out my place. Currently, I am not doing life. Again, I call on Boris because as I’ve said many a time – there are people in Australia and New Zealand already claiming post pandemic. So, it was possible.
Having completed the education chapter of my life, I now need to figure out how I want to love and be loved. I’ve got to figure out what the world has to offer and my place in it – I still want to do that. Ordinarily, this is done through experiences but hello? Things aren’t going to be the same for a while. I can’t imagine a world where we go to things like festivals and concerts so freely; I also don’t know how day parties and group events are going to work or how they look like post pandemic.
This journey of self discovery is already a pretty confusing route, and now we have a couple of obstacles ahead. The only other option is to adapt to it – I haven’t figured out what that’s like yet. Maybe it’s shooting your shot by airdropping your details to maintain a safe social distance, maybe it’s learning about yourself through self-care and indulging in things that bring happiness – I haven’t got the answers unfortunately.
I will attempt these though and keep you guys updated. I’m trying to salvage my youth ya’ll.
with all my love,