Hello, hi. Welcome back guys.
September is here y’all, which I guess is meant to be the official end of Hot Girl Summer. However, it’s not over for me until I say so…periodt. Nevertheless, September does mean heading back to reality for a lot of us so in short, Summer 2019 is a wrap. This summer was a rollercoaster as per usual; I travelled to Thailand and Barcelona, did some outings with my girls and just in general lived my bestest. Who knew day parties would be my vibe? I knew I hated partying and all that but it turns I actually just hated the clubs.
Day events and day parties are an absolute shout and I enjoyed (most of) the ones I went to. A perfect opportunity to serve looks, sip on cocktails and vibes all during golden hour. I’m definitely here for it. The fact that summer this year was actually summer meant that everyone in London was doing up positive vibes. I’ve said this before, but summer in London is top tier. Everyone starts wearing less and going out more because we can. This mixed with the heat when it’s not too mad and a sprinkle of some outside day parties? Perfect summer combination.
Aside from all that, I graduated this summer and now I’m about to start a whole new academic journey. I tried new things, picked up some new hobbies and spent a stupid amount of money. I left my job and found a better one so it’s been sweet. Of course, there were some really shitty times but I’m praying for a season of strength and clarity to come next.
So this post? I’m calling it the “summer rewind”and this is the filler blog post. The answers to why I didn’t post throughout the month of August and a little snippet of how I’m feeling post graduation. In other words, it’s a cheeky life update. I’m currently typing this at a very stupid time in the morning and I feel like my best words come out when it’s late and I’m just focusing on the post itself rather than multi-tasking.
The short story is I didn’t post because I truly wholeheartedly just didn’t want to. The posts were all there, just waiting for me to press “publish” and every week I’d go to do that and for some wild reason I just couldn’t. The month of August was rough for myself and my inner circle and the furthest thing from my mind was Quite Frankly. I’m still figuring out how to not let my emotions cloud my creativity but I felt like if I had posted anything it would have been half hearted. Something just to say I did.
I also felt like I was in this place where everything seemed like effort. I mean everything. I was doing the exact same thing day in and day out and it felt exhausting. I felt like I was no longer doing anything that fulfilled me and was fulfilling my purpose which is why I’m back. I realised Quite Frankly was useful in stopping me from dropping into that place. It was my little stabiliser to ensure I wasn’t losing myself in this thing called adulting. A terrible thing that is by the way, adulting. Hate every second of it.
While we’re on the topic of adulting, lets talk post gradation life. I’ll go more in depth next week (hint hint) but I’m going to be my usual transparent self with you guys. It’s hitting me. It got me quite late, I’m going to be real but it got me. I thought because I was doing my Masters it wouldn’t hit me until I graduated from that but nope, the cogs in my brain have started to turn. I’ve started to worry that I might not be able to secure a grad job and that I’m just going to be sitting at home with thousands of pounds of debt chilling over my head.
Family have already started to ask me what’s next post masters and they need to let me rest. I haven’t even got my timetable yet. I think that’s probably what’s setting off all this fear and worry because now I have to really think about my next step. I have a plan but I think I’m at a stage where I need a plan B & C and I’ve been putting that part off. Having to consider a possibility post graduation where things don’t go how I’ve planned? Yeah, that’s terrifying and probably why I’ve been avoiding putting too much thought into it.
“We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated”
I’m now coming to terms with that possibility and making a conscious effort to ensure I have a fail safe plan if things do go down and unfortunate way. I’m going to keep leave post graduation life at that because again, I’m saving it all for something x
In conclusion, this summer has been like I always say, a bloody movie. I feel like apart from my accomplishments and my enjoyment, the last couple of weeks have been the best my mental state has been in a really long time. My cup is overflowing with self love and I feel satisfied. I don’t even want to let go of the season, I’m worried the cold weather may just fumble all this growth but regardless, it’s coming. I hope summer was just as great to you guys and your transition into autumn is sweet and blissful.
See y’all in the next one.
with all my love,