Hello, hi. Welcome back guys.
The last post of 2020. This might get chaotic, so apologies in advance.
First and foremost, I’m getting tired of saying we’re back here again. Yet, here we are. Back again. Lockdown, an old friend. Tier 4 for my Londoners.
For those of you outside London? Send love, we need it. Before we begin, this post is not an end of year favourites because I have none. Chloe and Halle did the damn thing though, but I digress. As this year has been a disaster from start to finish, it doesn’t get the privilege of having the same round-up as its normal mates (see post for 2019 & 2018). To add insult to injury, other countries have handled the pandemic in a strikingly different way compared to us across the pond. Thus, a large majority of this year involved your babe sat at home, watching places like New Zealand and Australia declare themselves COVID free.
To end the year with a Christmas lockdown? It’s so 2020 isn’t it. Nevertheless, we’re almost out and that’s given me some relief. The big question I have for myself and others that think similar to me is why are we all hanging onto the hope of 2021 being different? What will change from 11:59 on December 31st to 0:00 on January 1st 2021. I think it’s because what other hope is there to hold onto. If we don’t tell ourselves that things will be better next year, a lot of us will collapse. If someone could tell me for a fact that 2021 isn’t any different (touches wood), I don’t know what I’d do.
“Oh, we’ll look back at this in a couple of years”
I don’t ever want to be reminded of this year, it never happened. This is something I’m pushing to the furthest corner of my mind. The smallest sprinkle of good came out of 2020 in the grand scheme of things, but that can’t overshadow how crazy it all was. The things I should have done this year, and the things I am are very different. I should be sitting in Sierra- Leone, cocktail in hand right about now but I’m here; crying tears in Tier 4 London. My heart goes out to business owners because this year has really tested you all financially (puts a candle up for Debenhams).
While we’re here – this is also not the time for people to ask you “what you achieved this year”. In a year such as this, getting through is an achievement in itself. People have truly lost this year, so this is not the time to make people feel bad for not meeting their resolutions or not developing in ways they would have wanted to. We made it to the end and for that, I give you all your flowers.
On a slightly less negative note, there still remains something symbolic about being able to leave one year and enter a new one. It sparks efforts for change, reflection and rehousing where you lie your spirit. 2020 has inspired me to do a clear out – mentally and socially. I’m tired of hearing how much this year has changed our lives but it has – it truly has. It’s wild to think that this time last year, this was beyond my capacity for imagination. It would be around this time that I start to think about what I want for next year, but 2020 has taught me to roll with the punches. Whether that’s a good thing or bad, is still to be determined. For 2021, I’m not asking for a lot. I just want peace and maybe that’s an improvement. I feel like I’d always have these big goals and plans but truly, I just want my chakras undisturbed.
For my lovely readers, we’ve been through it. I wish you a blessed Christmas despite the circumstances and I also want to send you love for getting through this year. It was a whole trip and all I can pray for is grace for 2021. Until then, 2020 – **** ***.
see ya’ll in the new year.
with all my love,