dear, readers | self-care & me


Self-Care / Sunday, April 25th, 2021

Hello, hi. Welcome back guys.

Let’s begin.

I go by Frankie – I write sometimes. I also have a habit of disappearing without notice (exhibit A – the silence on these sides). Nevertheless, I’ve finally sat down to write again. I missed it, I missed y’all.

I’ve been gone since February after our Valentine’s special which I hope you all enjoyed. Anyway, since then – I tapped out. One week turned into two, two turned into three and now we’re at the end of April. The honest truth is I got comfortable in my absence (again), as to be expected. I forgot how therapeutic typing these posts up and being able to just write whatever comes to mind is. The lead up to sitting down to write down something was the problem. It seemed like a chore.

For me, when I tell myself to sit down and write? I’ll usually get something out. Where the inner me was having a problem with this is that I didn’t even want to tell myself to sit down and write. I also didn’t want to come here and make a whole thing about feeling “uninspired, stagnant and over the vibes” because hello, positive vibes but here we are. With a month and a bit of radio silence, not very many life changes, and some new interests I’ve picked up – let’s catch up and try to get back into the rhythm of things.

The days are getting longer and warmer in London. It’s bright when I leave for work, and still very much so when I get back. I sometimes catch the sunrise on days when I’ve got an early start and I’m reminded more of why the sun is such a mood changer. I’m reading more – I set myself a task of 24 books this year with the intention of reading 2 a month. I’m on book no. 8, “Double Cross” by Malorie Blackman – a necessary read to fulfil my inner child (every teen should have read the Noughts and Crosses series apparently). I’ve been in my indie/pop bag music wise and have somehow had the same 5 songs on repeat (Clinton Kane and Mimi Webb have entered the chat). I’m picking up a whole bunch of these songs from Tik Tok if I’m being completely honest. That paired with the sunlight in London has provided the soundtrack to the movie of my life. In my absence, I still maintained my playlists so I hope you all recognise that I ride for ya’ll even when I’m not present.

I’ve dedicated the rest of the year to memories and self-care so I picked up some disposable cameras and my camcorder with all the intentions of documenting this summer (we’ll revisit this idea in June). For self-care, I went on a staycation week at the end of March – probably one of the most introvert things I’ve done in a while. The same routine of working, eating and sleeping was taking me out so I’d recommend if any of you have had that feeling recently. I did all the things I do at home anyway; reading, binge watching kdramas (I keep telling y’all they slap) and sleep, but somehow I came back feeling like I’d refreshed my whole spirit simply by breaking my routine.

Spoiler alert: unfortunately, that didn’t last because I jumped right back into my routine and then back into my slump.

My relationship with self-care has always been a difficult one – one that I’m still figuring out. I jump between healthy methods of self-care and unhealthy ones, unintentionally of course. It’s in the name of self-care that Quite Frankly can go dark at random points of the year, for a month with no questions asked, because your girl is going through it. It’s the reason why I realise I’ve spent a whole bunch of money on Zara or that I haven’t eaten properly in days. However, it’s also the reason why I can recognise when life is doing me and take a step back. I can start to put things in place to ensure that period of life isn’t as long lasting as it can be – I can work on making sure I come out the other end.

I say this all to say that self-care is important. That’s not news, but how you practice self-care is equally important. We live in a society where a lot of unhealthy things are done in the name of self-care and treating ourselves (this is honestly my bag so I’m not judging). In times where all we can do is work/study and sleep – finding ways to take a break from that is important. How do you practice self-care? Is it healthy?

I’m thankful. I’m truly thankful for friends that remind me to put myself first. Who remind me that writing is a form of self care for me and can be incorporated into my routine of caring for my soul. Somewhere along the way I spun writing into a job, when really? It was for giggles. A creative outlet outside of whatever life is doing, a place to document the vibes. During this break of mine, I looked back at some old posts from the last couple of years. I absolutely cringed at some but this in itself is why I keep writing. It’s amazing to be able to go back and read what my 2018 or 2019 self had to say and it’s even trippier to be see how I, and subsequently my writing style, have matured over the years. It reminded me how much I love it here.

So dear readers, thank you for sticking with me through my periods of “self-care” and thank you mates, for helping me realise that the best form of self-care was right here.

Catch you in the next one,

with all my love,

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